On My Own
by Penelope Perrot
Summary: A Dramione sonfic to "On My Own" from the Broadway play Les Miserables. Hermione dwells on Draco, the one she cannot have.


**Hey everyone! Sorry about the first time I uploaded this. I guess I just didn't understand the rules for sonfics...**

**Anyway, here it is again, without the lyrics. If you are not familiar with the song, then I recommend that look up the lyrics because it is truly a beautiful song. :)**

* * *

Through the days I feel so alone even though I'm constantly surrounded by my friends. I always long for him. But they don't understand. And he doesn't notice me. To him I'm just a filthy Mudblood.

It hurts that none of them notice my pain, my suffering. I feel like they don't truly care. Of course I know it's not true, but none of them really understands me.

That's why I long for the night. When I'm alone, patrolling the corridors and passageways, living up to my duties as a prefect. When I'm on my own like that, I can think. Think about him.

It's childish, I know. But it lifts my spirits. When I'm feeling down after a fight with Ron or feeling overwhelmed with homework, I imagine him there to comfort me. Picturing his face, his eyes, his rare sincere smile. It makes me cheerful inside. I dream that he gives me that smile. I dream that he actually cares for me in return, that he shares my feelings.

Night, the whole school is asleep. These moments are mine to cherish, to treasure. It's silly and immature, but I let my thoughts wander. I slip into a daydream. A dream that seems so real. I revel in it, I love it.

When I'm on my own in those dark hallways, I pretend that he's next to me, talking to me, caressing me, loving me. For hours on end I talk to him, walk with him. I imagine him telling me he loves me, that he always has, that he'd do anything for me.

And when I am lost in my emotions, teary-eyed and wretched, I can almost feel his arms as they wrap around me, as he finds me and embraces me. As he tells me that everything will be alright and I know it's true because he's with me.

The rainy, dark, dreary night turns into something marvelous and grand, something wonderful. My view of the world around me changes just for a moment. I see the beauty of the rainy pavement as it shines in silver glow, the misty lights that dance across the lake. Even the forbidden forest seems beautiful, as starlight pierces through the trees. I see the world as a beautiful thing. I see myself, wrapped in his arms, smiling up at him through the rain. I see him kiss me.

But then the dream dissolves.

A tear rolls down my cheek as I realize it's all a fantasy. He's not really there. He doesn't really love me. As I walk through the halls, pretending to talk to him, I'm only talking to myself. He doesn't know how I feel about him; he would just mock me if he did. He lives his daily life, so blind to my true feelings. And yet…

I continue to dream, to assure myself that somehow there's a way for us. Somehow we'll end up together someday as it should be. The feelings are irrational, but I cannot help but feel them.

It's because I love him. What once was a simple childish crush has blossomed into this mysterious thing called love. Love. The word feels bittersweet.

Then my patrol ends. I have to return to living in the real world, without my fantasies to sustain me. I miss him. The world begins to look dark and bare to me again. I have nothing to keep me going. Even those who once meant so much to me seem little more than strangers. All I see as I look around the grounds are dying trees, grey skies, and students I do not know.

Only one thing keeps me going—I love him. Those three words propel me forward, make me long to see him again. I fight to believe them, to always think about them.

Yet I know that it's all pretend. He doesn't love me in return. If I were to disappear, his life would be no different. It would just mean one fewer pest to have to deal with. His life is so easy, so cheerful. He has money and status and popularity, things I have never dreamed of. Why would he care about me?

Still, I love him. He shall forever in my mind be mine.

I know deep down that I can never possess him. He will never love me in return. But if there is one thing at all of which I can be certain it is that I love Draco Malfoy. My Draco.

I love him, but only on my own.


End file.
